I'm still here

I started to write about Sept. 11, 2001 and it's importance but since so many other authors can be more eloquent, I'll stick to what I know.

My anniversary of  being a Floridan is coming up on year three and I'm STILL not sure this was THE right place & time.  Without going on about how employment opportunities seem to be lacking and connecting to others a full time job, I'm focusing on whats good.

Hurricane Issac pretty much passed us by though her tail of downpours of rain were well noticed.

We were pretty lucky.    I did take some actions to prepare such as putting fresh water in the freezer, stocking up on canned foods that wont need to be cooked, etc.

With two room mates, we should be able to help each other should something happen we need to address.

Looks like I'm still here and WILL get back to writing about being HIV + in South Florida

Re Connecting

For three weeks I had no internet connection besides my cheap *ss mobile phone

No facebook, no blogging, no Adam4....

After a short while i didn't miss it.  Finding a few internet cafes (OK free spots like Fusion & the Pride Center) helped.

Did you miss me?     I did spend more time in the sun, did some more reading and just being free of an internet hold on me.

Insurance woes

I found out that I can't afford to keep my private insurance.  The HMO just became too expensive so I'm working on applying for Ryan White help.

That means in Broward County I have to go through "Central Intake" bringing proof of residency, blood work showing a detectable status (thank goodness I keep files of those)  and income verification

If you've gone though this process, you know how fretful I feel right now

Trust me: I'll survive this too it's just getting past this gosh darn red tape

An Obersvation

I'm deviating from a Positive mode and focusing on the Gay side here

A few thoughts:

Heterosexuals are more likely to make life than homosexuals. Hetero's make kids, so after work and such, they have to devote time to raising them and feeding them. Homosexual couples and those married with kids are part of this, too.

But what about us without children? What would they have?  My answer to that, is time.
Most of us don't raise kids, so how should we contribute to society? Volunteering for something. Get educated and motivated politically. Get involved in science and create new medicine or space travel. Plant your own organic food. Learn a new language.  Take care of the elderly, animals, your own nieces/nephews..

You know, everything hardworking hetero's have little or no time for, gay people should take care of. This is how we can contribute to human society.

I'm not saying to do it when you're too tired; we're all human after all. We need sleep, food/water, and love. But that time which most of us would otherwise spend on kids if we were straight, could be used for something wonderful. We have some great potential here, let's not waste it.

Searching

I'm pretty happy with what I do to make a buck.  It pays the bills so my rent, food, utilities etc. are all covered.  I'm even able to save a few dollars for the future while I'm in school too.

It sure would be nice to move up a bit so I've been searching, scouring, reading all the sources for decent part time work.  Craigs List, Linked In, Career Builder: you name it, I'm on it

Yesterday patience paid off: well sort of.   I have an interview today and what I find promising is the caller said she liked one job I have listed on my resume. It's not the most recent but for this weekend spot, well like I said, I have an interview.

three weeks, really?

I just noticed I haven't written in three weeks, GASP! 
Still alive and working p/t in the Ft Lauderdale area and yes,  I'm still that Positive happy go lucky guy.

On July 4th I ventured onto water about the Mussett for the Fireworks Gay Tea Cruise and I gotta say I had a blast.  Hanging out with some new friends, dancing like a fool with who knows and seeing some GREAT fireworks from peoples homes along the Intercoastal. 

Have YOU ever seen RENT live? The musical I mean!! I did at Broward Center for Performing Arts on July 6th. It was put on by students in their summer camp program. I'll be blunt honest it's not  THE best performance I've seen but the story is always good & touching.  My favorite song from the show is now, not Seasons of Love but "One Song, One Glory."  Perhaps I'll sing it karaoke one night.

Here's the song from the motion picture

This Saturday,  July 7th I stopped at the Pride Center and walked though it's monthly flea market, No bargains for this guy but it's a nice simple space and I can only bet "in season" it's PACKED.  If I hadn't bicycled there I would have bought an orchid for just $10.



I wish I had more to report and I know I will in three more weeks since I decided to make a trip to Washington DC and see the Names Project Quilt on the national mall
That's bound to be so emotional for me.

Stigma: the "fear" word

Oh that word, it hangs like Damocles over us, a painted lady or "The Scarlet Letter"

Fear creates an image that produces anger and mistrust.
Lepers would yell "unclean" and steer clear of public places. Despite constant but not recent messages about HIV/AIDS, a fear from people often brings our own fears, sense of inadequacies, lack of confidence and depression.

Stigma: how bold one word can appear.  Did you know a definition is "part of the female reproductive part of a flower?"  No doubt some man turned that to be a diminutive.

Stigma:   back to the "Clean UB2" discussion.  Sure I live in a tropical area- South East Florida but I do bathe often, use deodorant, brush my teeth after eating, clean my nails, comb my shampood hair, etc.

All my clothes are washed before wearing and of course, proper sun care & facial products are used: I am a gay man after all!!!   Being a non smoker, there's no odor surrounding me. I AM CLEAN

UB2 is more a way of saying "Lepers keep away: I don't trust my self to have safe or safer sex"

There is no way in all creation I'd want someone I know or not know, friend of foe to become HIV positive like me.  That, to me is a clean thought. 

Some where I saw a guy on a bicyle wearing a jersey with the words "Positive Pedler" on it and the back of his jersey the words "Eliminating stigma through our positive public example."


How I adore that phrase and it turns out it's the misson statement of that organization


Let's vow to live that, positive or not "Through our positive public example"

Let's talk about our own fears and overcome them with each other: our friends, lovers, family and churches

Get tested and carry on:  Take our meds and carry on. Live life and carry on
Pos or not: lets end the stigma

Learn more by talking and reading   I'd recommend starting here  The Stigma Project who's mission is
The Stigma Project seeks to create an HIV neutral world, free of judgement and fear by educating both positive and negative individuals from all walks of life, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, race, or background and reducing the HIV infection rate through knowledge and awareness.