Needs

Needs, want's & such are IMHO often confused.  I know I desire a good relationship, quality friends, health, housing and a decent wage for what I do.

Seeking those is part of setting goals, some thing I try to do and evaluate now & then. 
Long term goals and short term goals are often confused (by me at least) so I look at each of them and see where I am with each one


Moving from the cold of the midwest was a 7 year goal and by setting short term goals of working harder, saving more money and adujusting for a major change helped that process and here I am; Sunny Ft Lauderdale.

Becoming certified in one field of work was a goal I had since moving here a year ago.  It took a bit longer than I expected but it happened and now I'm working in that field. 


Now I'm thinking about what someone said the other day "I'm horny and I want it NOW"
If  I don't get laid I'm getting a bathouse membership and getting all I can

 Sure, I get or feel desirous of sexual companionship and in no way am I a prude that way but to say  out loud "I'm horny and I want it NOW" just didn't sit right.   But then again, thats me and since this is my blog & story, well you get the picture.

What that comment did for me was to think about what I do or want when hormones kick in.
Dreaming of the ideal mate helps; thinking up beat thoughts helps; being kind helps and just being there for  others does too.

I can say thats what MY needs & wants are: Happiness in a form that fits my style 

Just a bit older

Whoa, what happened?  I was just getting used to my age then WHAM like a brick wall, despite the warning signs but who in South  Florida pays attention to those,  it hit me!!  One year older as of Dec. 13.

To keep this blog the "any man" I'll leave it to be my age now ends with a 9. 

Should be nothing to write home about so I'll write it here.


With no real plans to do much on a date in mid December when my age ends in a 9, I thought meeting a few friends for a small dinner out would be nice. That changed when Brett said "Honey, for showing me so much about this area I didn't even know existed, I'm gonna cook you up some thing special" and he did


Instead of eating out and with Bretts kitchen being so much smaller  than mine, after he spent the day shopping he took over the 5th Ave kitchen making 'ka bobs, bbq ribs, potatoes and what all.

Of course the room mate was on the invite list as well as the man who invited US for Thanksgiving and his  man. 

We talked & learned more about each other, ate (did I mention Brett cooked a LOT of food?) and just enjoyed a nice quiet night in

Thats a positive life for me :)

Out Out damn Son

Following up with "I'm Angry" this really REALLY set me off. 



A frined of mine who gives his time & rescoures to help others even though his are limted wrote this and this is NOT the first time he's been there for people

I was just asked to help a young man who found out recently that he is HIV positive navigate the system. Seems that when he found out and told his mother, she kicked him out of the house. He is staying with friends but has been traumatized by this. He was also beaten by his brothers when he came out as being gay. It is horrible to think that anyone would have to deal with this in this day and age. Luckily he is staying with friends and is safe.

One comment was:

It saddens me that we as human beings are so judgmental and so cruel. Only when we can look past our differences will we ever be truly free.

One more:

I have never understood how being gay makes you less of a family member. I have never denied you as my brother and I am very open about you being gay. That would be like you denying me for being a housewife. We are who we are

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Much like what happened  in Hershey PA this happened right here in Ft Lauderdale where being gay is not out of the norm and Broward CO has a high HIV prevalence.  

How can we all work & live together? By living with love & compassion. By being HUMAN

Dan Pallotta said it best "Human Knd: Be Both"

Years ago, I helped a young man in the same situation. Jason Wonder was living in  a nice home with a caring (so he thought) family just north of Chicago. When his mom found out he was  gay she said "Leave with what you can carry in one trip & don't even take your last name!"   

Not too long after counting on friends to couch serf and then finding work while going to collage, Jason contacted HIV. That's when we met.  He was strong, smart and understood life: Not bad for a 22 yr old guy living on his own.

Five years after we met (we lost track of each other) his partner called me after searching far & wide since I moved three times in those five years saying Jason was very ill and could I see him

At the hospital, his family was there (not having any contact due to thier part, not his) and were keeping Jason's B/F and buddies out of the room.  I didn't stand for that & pointed out he's an adult and didn't want his mom there but his friends & me

Theres more to the story but its too much like what I read today. Im sure it happens all over each day and that's a shame

We are your brothers, sisters, dads & sons.  Teachers & students- YOUR NEIGHBOR

  

Im Angry

When I heard Paul Hyman say over & over again "I'm Angry" during his Wilton Manors World AIDS day talk, I took it to be about ignorance & stigma. Heck, even Jackie Chan said it "Stigma hurts. Because of AIDS, children are bullied, isolated and shut out of school. They are missing out on education. They are missing out on medicines. Children are missing your love, care and protection. Join me. And become a stigma buster. UNITE FOR CHILDREN UNITE AGAINST AIDS" 

A few days ago I read about a 13 yr old young man who is being refused entry to a school in Hershey PA because not just HIV + but "may have sex" with other children and they, the school board don't want any communicable disease in the schools

Like Paul, I AM ANGRY!  I've been to Cicero, IN and stood by Ryan Whites grave. Heard his mom speak any number of times and gosh darn it how has this school not heard? 

Founded in 1909 by chocolate maker Milton Hershey, the school educates low-income and socially disadvantaged students for free. It is financed by the Milton Hershey School Trust, which also holds the controlling interest in The Hershey Co.

Looks like the only Kisses you'll be getting from me from here on in wont be chocolate ones wrapped in tin foil. 

 

Where did my weekend go?

Yeah, yeah I know I said I'd try to post some thing here every other day.  N.B. the keyword here is "try."

Work, as much as I like it & the people I work with added a new role to my job description.  More hours, responsibility  & all that comes with it.  I even have a GREAT crew of volunteers who enjoy what we do.

That job came to fruition Saturday at 5:30am.  After some long hours out doors (not too bad for South East Florida) I worked at the Broward Center for Performing Arts just so I could see  Kinsey Sicks.  This Dragapella had me laughing out loud (no LOLing here!!)  Four Jewish drag performers all doing Christmas songs (or a version of them) Ovey in a Manger & Worry (a parody of Bobby Mc Farin's "Don't Worry..") were my two favorites. Feel free to borrow my CD of that show.

see a wonderful example of this well trained & both in music & comedy here

What I missed by working all day was a social event called  SouthFlorida Positive Social group.  The review online sounded so nice I hope to make it to the next one

As an upbeat message I leave with this “Life's to short to let somebody destroy your happiness”

I came across it on an a4a account  

why this

My first blog post called Dec 1st appears on a Live Journal account but since that doesn't allow for subscriptions and I plan on blogging every other day, I'll be using blogger.com from here on in

Whats the point of this? As a gay man living with HIV in South East Florida with roots in the Midwest,  ( Chicago area and northern Wisconsin <go Badgers!>) and spending time in Dallas (can we say starched jeans?)
I hope to share some thoughts, dreams and hopes with you.

Please subsribe and comment   


One thing though, I'm being anonymous here but in real life I am open about being queer and with my HIV status.  Heck I wear my "I'm Positive" t-shirt in public, belong to a cyclist group of positive riders called Positive Pedlers  but here, I want to be the "everyman" or "any man" - The Pippen we all are.    Can we live with that?

Dec 1

December 1 is to many just a day on the calendar.  To me its a forced mnemonic device called "World AIDS Day"

Not that I don't have anything against a day to keep HIV in peoples minds but its in mine daily
Every day is MY AIDS Day

So what makes this day special from any other day? (sounds like Sader) Though they never leave my thoughts, faces of friends, people I knew, men Ive loved & others I admired return like ghosts in the light to
walk with me as I carry a candle in yet another vigil on a busy street in some big town.

Now that I have buddies in the L.I.F.E. program and Pos Attitude friends, I walk with them on WIlton Drive.  We cry, I cry and then I smile for the memories shared, stories told and how we lived like no other.


Walk with me, hand in hand on December 1 even if your not in WIlton Manors, FL, we'll rejoice in the years ahead